Caught up with myself, finally…Sort of?

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As I sit here, it has been a mixed bag for me for the last 2 years. I catch myself and complain not, because I have a privileged life that has allowed me to take the path I have. After 2018 there was a deep dive into the realm of facing the big life/career-choice decisions. Life in the Richmond neighborhood of SE Portland is a different world from the late 90s and early 2010s. After transitioning my studio off the commercial corridor [I now can barely recognize] reestablishing in amongst the hood was a little intimidating. Just keep the momentum and move forward has been the approach. I hit a wall in being able to maintain all the aspects as a Wife, Mom, Woman-Owned Business, Homeschool organizer/leader to my kids, and a yearly event organizer and designer. Something had to give.

Reaching the other side became the work of transitioning out of a 15 year run of leading and co-organizing the SE Area ARTWalk. Focusing on what I want as an artist and moving forward I allowed myself what I was calling my Year Sabbatical to decompress after the 15 year stretch. Of course as an entrepreneur to the core, I still was a business owner, Mom and wife. Therefore, I was aware this hardly meant time off as every day is a creative endeavor to run an independent business and try to be a supportive family member. I did achieve a much more manageable balance of life. {bubbling guilt at the feeling of letting down my community sneaks in every once in a while which I soothe with “we had a good run”}

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My projected restart for gearing up for developing STUDIO things became Sept 2020. College students returning to campus would open up time and I would keep moving forward. Now, I navigate through recapturing the semblance of self-awareness, solitude and life as it is. What a challenging and interesting time to stay motivated with COVID 19 still lurking. I have adult children who are out of the nest. Many said this era would come quicker than I could imagine, many times, over the 20+ year span of raising kids. As an empty nester of 2, and then not [with C O V I D hitting] and, then again, I have to say I feel quite unlike I ever imagined.

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Holy Moly, it has been a strange, frightening, isolating, deepening, stressful, opening, desperate, awakening triple whammy of a ride lately. And that is not even scratching the surface of the ice berg of how we all are coping as it is still going on.

Mutual deep breath seems fitting.


Inhale, deeply.

Exhale fully.

Repeat when needed.